See Jane Get Rich

I have been putting this post off for a few days, but its time to get on with it. 

This past weekend I got in my car and drove a couple hundred miles to go see Bum.  I needed to have a face to face conversation.  I have been dropping hints since early September.  In December, when I was home I broached the subject lightly but left it alone.  Then in January and February, I tried four times over the phone to tell Bum my decision.  But, Bum wasn’t having it.   

The first time I tried to tell Bum there was a long silence at the other end of the phone.   When Bum finally said something, the shock, disappointment and anxiousness in Bum’s voice made me back off and my tone changed from certainness to tentativeness.  “Oh, I am still thinking about it.  Um, eventually I would want to leave.”   I understood that telling your parent that you no longer want to do what you wanted to do since you were 13 years old was a conversation that I needed to have face to face.   

I envisioned the conversation would take place in the dining room table at a fixed time with both of us sitting down and facing each other.  I would have my arguments outlined and I would go by them one to one.  But, it didn’t happen that way.  The conversation took place right after Bum and I pulled into the driveway after a grocery store run.  It was dark all around us and we were both staring straight ahead at the garage.   After thinking long and hard for six months I was ready.   I said,  “Bum, I don’t want to be a lawyer. ” 

Bum cut off the engine and we sat there.  It was one of the hardest things to tell Bum and one of the hardest things to admit to myself.

 Recap

In January, I made the decision to lend my parent Bum (who is no Bum!) $15k to pay off some credit card debt.  I believe that since I asked and accepted financial assistance from Bum for my 1L and 2L year for some living expenses I contributed to the debt.  But, the biggest culprit was my older sibling the Other Child who refuses to get a real world job and is going after his entrepreneurial dreams while Bum picks up the check.  I tried conditioning the loan on Bum cutting out the Other Child financially but Bum was having none of that so the $15k was a no-strings-attached unsecured interest free personal loan.

The only drawback to the loan was that I was not willing to wait around for my $15k to be repaid.  I wanted an aggressive repayment plan since Bum wasn’t willing to cut the Other Child out.  I lend the money this January.  I specified that I wanted my first payment of $5k on March 31, next $5k on June 31, and the next $5k on October 31 and oh maybe a nice little “gratuity” in December for being so so considerate. 

At the end of my post I asked my readers whether now that I have paid off the $15k in credit card debt, whether Bum will save the money to repay me or whether the increased cash flow means more money will end up going to the Other Child.   Guess what happened?  Bum is doing both.  Yes, both! 

Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve woken up to find out that there is a possible emergency brewing in my family.  My grandmother had a fall yesterday and she is currently hospitalized.  There are some possible complication’s that at this time sounds like a stroke.  But, we are not sure at all.  I am hoping that she will stabilize.   

If this situation gets worse then Bum, my parent, will need to fly out to the “Old Country” to visit my grandmother.  And of course, that means I will be the one shelling out the dough to get Bum there since Bumt doesn’t want to dip into the money that is being saved for the first installment on my loan.  Translation =  there isn’t much saved to begin with. 

I’ve about $10k in hand that is easily accessible.  If this situation gets worse then I will, without a doubt, shell out for a trip abroad and wait to impart a financial lesson about the importance of emergency funds to my parent (!) later.  I checked the flights and right now they are coming in at $1,140. 

This is such a delicate personal situation that I don’t think this is the time to cut Bum off to show that I am no longer the safety net.  This situation has definitely shown me that if I don’t set up some ground rules then I can easily become an ATM.

Update: 2/19/2010

My grandmother is doing much better and we do not believe that she had a stroke.  Thank you for your support.

Okay, let’s break down why January 2010 was the most expensive month of my life. 

Read the rest of this entry »

December 2009

I finish all my exams and arrived home for my winter break.  The very next day, I start my holiday job at the big box retail store.  The Other Child (OC), my older sibling, was back at home because the OC quit a training program/job after six months and was about to launch an entrepreneurial effort.  The OC spend all its time at home researching and doing various things for this new business.  You know, the business that was going to be the one that succeeds.

 Bum my parent and I spoke again about the loan.  Bum was not going to cut off the Other Child completely as I desired before the OC’s business took off…which could be a number of years.  But, after having a $0 tuition bill for the last two semesters I would have to pay $9k in tuition for my final semester of law school.  That was going to hurt me financially.  But, I can’t stand by and do nothing while Bum struggled with credit card debt. 

I decided to help Bum out by giving a loan of $15,000 without any of the earlier conditions  for three reasons. 

Read the rest of this entry »

November 2009

I go home for Thanksgiving and my parent Bum and I have a face-to-face talk.  Bum wants a loan to pay off all the credit card debt.  By this time, Bum has estimated the figure to be about $15k and the interest rate are in the high teens but no specific figures are disclosed to me.  I get frustrated about the lack of disclosures provided to me as a prospective lender, but I realize that this was a great opportunity to get rid of the Other Child from Bum’s financial picture once and for all.  

 So, I go in for the (financial) kill:

My Offer to Bum

• (1) $15k loan with no interest rate with repayments according to an agreed schedule. 
• (2) Complete disclosure of all debts and interest rates with documentation.  
• (3) Sign a contract agreeing to the terms. 
• (4) Must completely and utterly stop financially supporting the Other Child. 
  • First violation: Loan will have a 5% interest rate and interest will be immediately due. 
  • Second violation: Interest will increase to 10% and the interest will be immediately due. 
  • Third violation: The loan is in official default and all money must be returned immediately. 
• (5) Every term except for #4 dealing with the Other Child is negotiable. 

Bum’s Response?

Read the rest of this entry »

September    

In September, I was talking to Bum about money when Bum just happen to mention Bum has some money on Bum’s credit card that needs to be paid off.

Wait.  Hold up.  Did you just say credit card debt?  Whaaaaaatttttt?

I was blown away.  Bum is not someone I would think of when I think of the stereotypical person with credit card debt.  Bum doesn’t go shopping that much.  Bum eats out once in a while.  Bum’s biggest purchase most recently was a new hybrid paid in full through a HELOC.   Bum makes very good money.  But, Bum has two children who was still relying on Bum for help. 

So, my next question was: What exactly is all this credit card debt from, Bum?

Read the rest of this entry »

I love my parent.  I only have one so my parent is even more special to me.  Let’s call this solo genderless parent “Bum,” not to be confused with Mum or Dum…er…Dad.  Bum lost Bum’s spouse when I was born.  Losing a parent is very hard but with Bum my life is full and I have never felt like anything in my life was missing. 

I love my Bum.  Bum loves me.  Bum is smart, hardworking and kind.  Bum has been there for me all my life.  I share my Bum with the other child, er, sibling.  I don’t like my sibling.  I do not yet have a pseudonym for the other child so we shall refer to this genderless solo sibling as that “Irresponsible Get Rich Quick A—hole” until I come with another name.  Or maybe, I will just call it the “Other Child.”  I think that will work too. 

I keep telling myself this sibling of mine is really adopted, but so far all evidence has been to the contrary.  For one thing, the sibling looks just like Bum.  Bum really likes science and math and the Other Child likes and excels in all that too unlike to me.  Bum and the Other Child are both concerned about how they are perceived by others whereas I am not.  Once, I wore sweat pants everyday to law school for one entire semester.    

That’s it.  That’s my family.  Now, you know that if I am talking about my family and since this is a personal finance blog the next post will be about me lending money to one of these two characters in my life.  Guess which one?