Comments on: Bum Gets a $15k Bailout

By: seejanegetrich

seejanegetrich — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 01:54:35 +0000

@Kate
I felt obligated to give the money since Bum helped me out so much. I will be okay if I don’t see the $15k back. If it was something that I really needed and I didn’t end up getting it back then that would have an adverse effect on our relationship.

By: Kate

Kate — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 01:37:06 +0000

I understand why you ended up giving Bum the money, especially when you consider that you wouldn’t have the money if it weren’t for Bum in the first place. However, I have a hard and fast rule about “loaning” money to friends and family: I consider it a gift and don’t give it away if I can’t live without it. I hope Bum pays you back, but I hope you’ll be fine even if you never see a dime. Good luck, I do hope the money helps Bum out.
Kate´s last blog ..No Weigh In This Week

By: admin

admin — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:55:29 +0000

@eemusings
I think I will be okay without that $15k because I do have a nice emergency fund. Sure, it would have been nice to have it on hand and I will miss the interest but I thought helping Bum out in this situation was very important for me.

By: eemusings

eemusings — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 22:25:50 +0000

I’m going to say odds are the money is going to be going towards OC.

However, I think you did the right thing. As you say, part of the reason this happened is because Bum was helping you out at his/her own expense, and it only seems right to ‘pay it back’ at this time. I hope you’re going to be okay without that 15k though – it could take a while to be repaid.

By: admin

admin — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 16:19:53 +0000

@AGaiShanLife
I’ve asked Bum to keep the loan confidential so the OC does not know. This will make it easier for Bum to set the extra cash aside. The OC knows I will never ever lend money to the OC. Nada. Nothing. Zilch.

By: admin

admin — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 16:12:52 +0000

@LeanLifeCoach
It was a bailout more so than helping because I eliminated Bum’s debt very quickly and none of my earlier conditions were agreed to. Let’s hope the extra money won’t end up going to finance the Other Child’s life/entreprenurial venture.

By: Revanche

Revanche — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 04:32:41 +0000

*sigh* Honestly, with the refusal to consider cutting off OC, you’re going to see OC take advantage of Bum even more. Especially if OC knows what happened. And OC may well start on you if OC doesn’t already know better … even IF OC already knows better it could happen.

That’s why no one I’m related to knows that I have savings up the wazoo. (Which is a question of yours I still have to answer. Will soon.)

Until there are no more bailouts, OC will continue to tap off Bum.

FWIW, I’ve been there and I’ve done the same thing. I understand the choice and don’t disagree. But a cutoff has to happen lest your maintaining Bum’s safety net is abused by OC. I can already see that the entrepreneurial effort could be one way OC abuses Bum’s freed up money. Best of luck!

By: LeanLifeCoach

LeanLifeCoach — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 02:34:14 +0000

Jane:

I hope I’m wrong but I’m afraid you may get a lesson in “Don’t lend money to friends and family!” My bet… You will see some payments for some time and then the excuses will begin. Even if Bum helped you out that does not mean Bum was making sound financial choices then and does not mean Bum will make sound financial choices now. I hope, really hope, it works out. But I would ask, is this helping Bum or is this a bailout for Bum?

btw.. kudos to your commitment to school! If you are ever near Hayfield (Telegraph Rd.) the best Chinese dish in the country is Crystal Chicken at House of Dynasty!

By: admin

admin — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 22:23:57 +0000

@ThrifyLittleBlog
Yes, Bum’s help was crucial to me maintaining a very high savings level. So, in some way its a payback but I need it back. I know Bum will pay the money back–its just that Bum may not keep the schedule I gave Bum and it may take a little longer.

By: Kasey at Thrifty Little Blog

Kasey at Thrifty Little Blog — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 17:48:29 +0000

I suppose that when you say that this money was actually accumulated because of Bum, it almost sounds like a payback.

In a way, it reminds me of when I was dating my ex (of 4 years) and couldn’t stand to see him paying interest on his credit cards so I paid off a card worth about $2,000. After breaking up, we remained friends and I didn’t really expect to get the money back for a while… until he inherited over $100,000.

It upset me when he spent the money on things without a though about giving me back the money I gave him. It took my asking him a few months later to even get a promise to return some of the money back (which I haven’t received). What I’ve learned from the situation is that people don’t necessarily look at money the way that I do (honoring the importance) and in letting go of it, I’m letting go of control of the situation.

I suppose the situation is now in Bum’s hands, hopefully Bum will not disappoint you too much and create conflict in the relationship.